Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I'm wearing green but pinch me anyway, please

Okay, so I go to bed last night and I have a dream that my 89 year old grandfather, who has Alzheimer's, is missing. It is one of those dreams that feel very real, which if it is a bad dream, can be very unsettling. So I am not exactly the best employee at work the next day and I am sent home early. I drive two hours to see my grandfather, who is sitting in his chair like he always is. We visit and eventually I get a bowl of ice cream, I ask him if he wants some, sometimes he says yes, sometimes no. This time he says yes. We sit and talk, his repetitive questions are more frequent now, I still answer them like I haven't heard them before. He can remember, give or take a day, how long it has been since my last visit, which are more infrequent now I am sad to say. He asks if my father still works at the post office, which he never has. The stories he remembers with amazing accuracy are from his youth, which is kind of cool. Those are the stories I really enjoy. We sit and talk for a while and then I walk into the kitchen and my mother is there.
"What are you doing here?" She asks.
"Just having a bowl of ice cream with Pa Pa." I reply, yes at my age I still catch myself calling him that.
She gives me an awkward look, "But he is still missing. What are you talking about?"
I turn and quickly walk back into the room only to find my empty bowl of ice cream.
I wake up a little disturbed. It was all a dream.
Maybe it was my homemade spaghetti sauce I ate before I went to bed. Maybe I'm going crazy.
Today is St. Patrick's Day and I will be wearing green. But please still pinch me to remind me that I'm not dreaming.

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